Christmastime Is Killing Us lyrics

Santa:

Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal

As the holiday feeling was filling us.

But now instead, all we're feeling is dread

Because Christmastime is killing us!

Elves:

Each Christmas list gets us more and more pissed

Till the thought of existence is chilling us.

Santa:

I'll tell you what. Shove your list up your butt, because...

Santa and Elves:

Christmastime is killing us!

Stewie:

But can't you see that what you do

Is a dream come true?

Can't you see that every smile

Makes it all worthwhile?

Santa:

No, screw you! It's all but through,

There's too much to do.

All those dreams are nightmares

And blank, icy stares.

Each little elf used to fill up a shelf

Making playthings and selflessly thrilling us.

Now they're on crack and it feels like Iraq

Because Christmastime is killing us!

Elves:

Each model train only heightens the pain

Of the workload that's straining and drilling us.

Santa:

Fingers all bleed. And look! That guy just peed

Because Christmastime is killing us!

Stewie:

But can't you see our point of view?

We rely on you.

Can't you see that Christmas cheer

Gets us through the year?

Santa:

My whole crew is black and blue.

Can't you take a clue?

You may think I look great,

But I'm twenty-eight!

Santa and Elves:

Each jingle-bell is a requiem knell,

And while you think it's swell, we are toiling in Hell!

Santa:

Take a look, you can tell, as a man, I'm a shell!

Santa and Elves:

Because Christmastime is killing us!

Killing us!

Christmastime is killing us!