This morning after getting up,
I had a terrible toothache,
Oh, la la
I leave my house,
And I run sobbing,
Towards a so-called Durand,
Mmmmmm...
He's a dentist by trade
Surely he can fix me up
In a waiting room crammed full of people,
I wait,
Oh, la la la
Lying on a stretcher,
Passing me is a pale-white guy,
Being hauled by two burlesque men.
Mmmm...
I'm already about ready to get up and say fuck this place,
But I hear the nurse shout "Next!"
And now I stand in front of the dentist,
And I give him a moronic grin,
He shoves me to a chair, and starts to scream at me,
And in his hands are twezers,
Ooooh, maman
My legs turn to cottage cheese,
And before I could say "Phew"
He's already taking out another three teeth,
In less than a second,
My poor molars,
Are turned to their graves,
Oh, la la la,
He proceeds to fill,
My two most beautiful teeth,
The ones I have upfront,
Mmmm...
He grates my mouth with a blow torch,
Before giving me a large glass of water,
He tells me to pay the bill,
I was paid the day before,
This bastard mows at my sorrel,
And repays me fifty francs.
Oooooh, maman
And he just laughs,
I'm not a dentist, I'm a plumber
Between us two neighbors, we must help each other,
Oooh...
And me, my mouth will scream tonight,
The dentist's blues in the dark.