人間失格 [Ningen shikkaku] [English translation]

It was the winter when I was 10, my first panic, exploding in my head. Blacked out for just a few seconds, one moment, and when I opened my eyes, there were tears on Mother's chest. It wasn't me. Somehow until recently, we'd played in the park, suddenly crying out with a strange voice, maybe it would be good to rage til the verge of death

Later my parents escorting to the psych ward, a doctor's name I haven't forgotten, "kageyama"-sensei. A beauty with a black beauty-mark. Basically my type. At the personal interview, my heart dancing. I took them enthusiastically, the many medical tests. Asking for lifetime vows. An unexpected proposal

Yes! I'll obey. I don't really understand but, now Shouhei is dead. My mother told me. It's written in this book. I'm not normal. My friends said so too. "Handicapped", they said. I'm strange, they said. I see now. Looking back on it, everything started here. The good times. Thank you. Goodbye.

"Not normal," uncommon, people are calling. Saying I'm handicapped. Making fun. Taking advantage. Something's wrong in his head.

My name is GOMESS! I'm not human. I'm always watching from the world of solitude. Laughing, angering, distracted by people. Already 19 years old.

I can't remember any of it anymore, but back then the things I thought about, just recalling them is painful. How much I cried, and was scared of tomorrow. In the middle of a dream. Feeling left behind. I haven't changed since then. When will I be able to obtain "that"?

I still l can't see them, but... Love and those things without shape, they weigh me down. Looking at tomorrow, writing lyrics over and over. I'll sing. And if I get nervous, I'll freestyle.

I'm sorry mom, thank you dad. Unable to say even that, tomorrow fades away. Words that should have been waiting by the cemetery: alongside saliva, I spit them out.

"Not normal," uncommon, people are calling. Saying I'm handicapped. Making fun. Taking advantage. Something's wrong in his head.

My name is GOMESS! I'm not human. I'm always watching from the world of solitude. Laughing, angering, distracted by people. Already 19 years old.

My name is GOMESS! I'm not human. I'm always watching from the world of solitude. Laughing, angering, distracted by people. Already 19 years old.