Give Me the Sultan's Harem lyrics

I had a dream last night that was immense

I dreamed that I was at the Peace Conference

Where England and France and Italy

Each got her share of her indemnity

And after they divided up the dish

They asked me if there's anything that I'd wish

I was so shy, I thought they'd die

When I made this reply:

Give me the Harem, the old Sultan's Harem

That's the only thing I crave

The Sultan's too old, for he's past eighty-three

And his thousand wives need a fellow like me

I'll never beat them, with kindness I'll treat them

And all that I ask is a trial

Imagine me sitting on a carpeted floor

Telling my slave to bring me wife "Ninety-four"

I'll be so gallant, I'm chucked full of talent

Won't you give that Harem to me?

Give me the Harem, the old Sultan's Harem

That's the only thing I crave

The Sultan's too old, for he's past eighty-three

And his thousand wives need a fellow like me

I'll never beat them, with kindness I'll treat them

And all that I ask is a trial

Imagine me sitting on a carpeted floor

Telling my slave to bring me wife "Ninety-four"

I'll be so gallant, I'm chucked full of talent

Won't you give that Harem to me?

The diplomats all listened to my plea

They wondered just what was the matter with me

But I kept on asking for a trial

I tried to show them it was worth the while

Just then they asked if I was qualified

And I replied, "You folks will be satisfied"

I'll prove to you, that I'll be true

But here's what you must do:

Give me the Harem, the old Sultan's Harem

That's the only thing I crave

I'll take off the veils that they wear on their face

The young ones I'll keep, and the old ones I'll chase

I'll give them freedom, on garlic I'll feed 'em

So they can grow stronger for me

King Solomon was four hundred years when he died

If I live till fourty-three I'll be satisfied

I'll be a wizard, a real Harem lizard

Won't you give that Harem to me?

Give me the Harem, the old Sultan's Harem

That's the only thing I crave

I'll take off the veils that they wear on their face

The young ones I'll keep, and the old ones I'll chase

I'll give them freedom, on garlic I'll feed 'em

So they can grow stronger for me

King Solomon was four hundred years when he died

If I live till fourty-three I'll be satisfied

I'll be a wizard, a real Harem lizard

Won't you give that Harem to me?