Big Nellie May lyrics

Now i'll tell you the story of Big Nellie May,

She took on the golf in a serious way.

With her shiny new clubs and her big plastic bag,

She could easily have passed for Jack Nicholas in drag.

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Whay-a Toora-lie Ooora-lie Ooora-lie-ay..

Now Nellie was handicapped more than the rest,

Her stroke was impaired by the size of her chest;

Her over-development proved her downfall,

When she swung, they both swung and all missed the ball.

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Now Nellie decided they hampered her stroke,

So she tethered them up with a big piece of rope.

But they didn't like being tied up in the noose;

And the very next stroke both rascals broke loose.

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Well in sheer desperation she turned to the pro,

Who looked at poor Nell and said "Well i don't know...

I've only seen two that look like yours do,

And they were on a camel in Calder park zoo."

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Well this pointed remark at the poor girl's physique

Made Nellie lash out in a great fit of pique.

Her blow caught the pro in his most cherrished spot,

And now he's got two just as big as she's got.

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