Болезненно [Boleznenno] [English translation]

Do you know why my stomach is hurting?

That's because all the butterflies had died there, every one of them.

It's not me, my heart is whimpering,

It reminds me to feel myself alive.

Be yourself, stay yourself,

If you're in pain, smile more.

You know, it's such a law everywhere here,

One should be empty, one should be heartless.

We have had the first snow already.

I remember it falling last year.

I was often cold, and a man was saving me,

He kept repeating, "I love you".

Cold wind gives (me) strength,

You are my disaster, my shiver.

Remember everything there was (between us) on a quiet evening.

I'm sorry, I haven't forgotten.

I used to laugh a lot and feel joy because of you.

Nowadays I'm mostly crying and being sad.

Everything has accumulated there, in my soul,

Don't hope, I won't give you away (set you free).

It's my body, I can do whatever I want to it:

I can hit walls and cut myself;

No one will yell at me because of that,

I can do to myself whatever I want.

Seriously, I don't give a toss about the world,

It keeps solving its own dilemmas.

If only you could feel

How the walls of my world are falling.

I'm not writing to you, I'm not looking for an excuse,

I'm not trying to talk to you.

I'm fed up with this frost,

Minus thirty centigrade when it's zero temperature outside (in the street)…