‘House Of The Dragon’ Contenders Vs. Pretenders: Episode 5 ‘We Light The Way’

The winds of change are blowing on House of the Dragon this week (just ask Paddy Considine’s weak stomach).

Episode Five, “We Light The Way,” bids farewell to two main cast members, Milly Alcock who plays young Rhaenyra Targaryen, and Emily Carey who plays young Alicent Hightower. Both stars have delivered impressive performances, building a bloody sandbox for their successors to play in, and they use the show’s latest episode as a kind of dramatic swan song — one filled with scheming, betrayal, scorned lovers, and a nuptial gathering that could rival that infamous Red Wedding. Before we say goodbye, here’s where the show’s main players stand in the dwindling line for the Iron Throne.

Criston Cole

Criston Cole is proof that even the most powerful woman in Westeros still has to deal with whiny, sh*t-stirring f*ckbois every now and then. The knight gets all up in his feels this week, throwing a bloody temper tantrum that ends up changing the course of history for the Targaryen dynasty. Rhaenyra’s betrothal to Laenor Velaryon spurs Criston to make a declaration while they’re returning to King’s Landing. He wants Rhaenyra to give up her crown, and her titles, and run away with him to Essos – swapping an arranged marriage for a love match and power for … oranges, or some such nonsense. The whole scene might have been romantic except for the fact that, as of this episode, the two have only hooked up once and, despite claiming he “knows” her, Criston has absolutely no clue as to what a woman like Rhaenyra truly wants. Here’s a hint bro, it ain’t oranges. When she refuses his proposal, Criston reveals his true motives for wanting to elope. He’s feeling guilty for breaking his chastity vows and hopes marriage might give him a path forward to becoming an honorable knight again. So, here we have yet another man who can’t stomach the consequences of his actions. Instead of going to therapy, Criston reveals his indiscretion to Alicent — who still thinks Rhaenyra got it on with her uncle in that brothel — before turning a man’s face into something resembling day-old spaghetti at his lover’s wedding feast. That man was Laenor’s paramour, and his grief forces Viserys to speed up the nuptials before House Velaryon can reconsider. So, while Rhaenyra and Laenor are exchanging vows next to bits of brain matter and blood with only their families as witnesses, Criston is trying to cut his d*ck off in the Godswood and being “saved” by Alicent. Ladies, let this be a lesson to us all: choose your side pieces widely.

Daemon Targaryen

We do hope they’re paying Matt Smith well on this show because Daemon “Positively Bereft” Targaryen is, once again, the best thing about this week’s episode. Now, do his ridiculous antics place him any closer to the Iron Throne Of course not. But the man is so deranged that he truly believes he can sulk around the Vale, orchestrate his wife’s death, crash a royal wedding, and somehow, no one will call him out on his bullsh*t. It’s delicious to watch, even if the mental gymnastics this show is forcing fans to perform in order to support an incestuous groomer with homicidal leanings are worrying. Daemon, despite abandoning Rhaenyra in a pleasure den, seems even more obsessed with his niece, or at least, with her promised crown. He dispatches of his troublesome wife (RIP to Lady Rhea Royce, who, despite being unfavorably compared to a sheep by her husband, seemed like a pretty badass chick for the few minutes of screentime she was granted). He then shows up at the royal wedding without an invite, trying to cast doubt on Rhaenyra’s decision to marry her cousin, Laenor Velaryon. He’s unsuccessful, mostly because women hold grudges, and ruining her reputation so badly that she almost lost her birthright is a worthwhile grievance to nurse for a teenage girl, and before he can cause any more damage, a bloody brawl breaks out during the future Queen’s wedding feast. It’s clear Daemon is still intent on grasping for what power he can — he tells Lord Royce as much when he announces his intent to claim his dead wife’s inheritance — but he’s too obvious and aggressive in his tactics to make any headway this episode. But, gods love him, his scheming is a hell of a lot of fun to watch.

King Viserys Targaryen

After Viserys’ terrible mismanagement of the Daemon situation and his all-around spineless method of ruling the Seven Kingdoms, we have to admit that watching him spew his guts over the side of a ship brought us a small amount of pleasure. As likable as Paddy Considine is, we can all agree that Viserys is no dragon. He’s barely a king. And this week, his molting arm and failing health make him seem even more pathetic, weaker than in episodes past. He successfully binds House Targaryen and House Velaryon and he chooses a better hand in Lord Lyonel Strong, but he struggles to keep his court in line. Even his wife is seemingly unafraid to interrupt his wedding feast speech by practically declaring war on his House with her choice in dress. The saddest part about Viserys’ failing though is that he’s actually a decent human being. He loves his daughter, his brother, even his wife, and he values peace above glory, but, despite wishing to be tested on a battlefield, he can’t handle the true test of ruling – making hard decisions that might hurt the people you care about most. He’s so consumed with being well-liked, with not making enemies, that he’s inadvertently assured a future war between those closest to him. He’s just a less problematic Robert Baratheon at this point.

Otto Hightower

While the Targaryen clan sails to Driftmark, Otto Hightower spends his last remaining moments in King’s Landing berating his teenage daughter for being loyal to her childhood bestie and orchestrating a rift between the two women that will one day lead to unimaginable war and the deaths of thousands of innocents. So yeah, this guy is a real piece of work. Currently, Otto has lost most of his power. He’s certainly lost the ear of the king. But he’s got the backing of his house and the hurt feelings of his daughter on his side so we wouldn’t count this poor man’s Rasputin out just yet.

Corlys Velaryon

Corlys Velaryon continues to be his own worst enemy in this episode. The man has more money, more ships, and more political weight than anyone (Targaryens included) in Westeros and yet he’s constantly pulling petty sh*t like he does when Viserys comes to visit. (Although, props to him for making the king so desperate for his friendship that he’d sail through a tempest just to bribe him with his daughter’s hand in marriage.) Ambition, no matter how obvious, we can respect, but Corlys is the most irksome kind of social climber – the one who pretends to be above all of the mud-slinging, even when the dirt is clearly visible underneath his fingernails. We can’t help but think he’ll come to regret wanting a spot nearer that throne one day.

Rhaenyra Targaryen

We’re still a bit devastated that Milly Alcock is graduating from House of the Dragon because she has given depth and nuance to Rhaenyra in a way even George R.R. Martin’s original writings couldn’t. Her Rhaenyra is finally learning to play the Game of Thrones this week, making alliances through political marriages while pursuing her own desires on the side. She’s girlbossing her way to the Iron Throne, turning down hollow marriage proposals in favor of power, flirting with her bannermen at her wedding feast, and goading her uncle to put up or shut up when it comes to his attraction to her. Sure, the Criston Cole interlude was a bigger mishap than we initially thought – Rhaenyra clearly just wanted to blow off some steam after her night on the town, and her Kingsguard was the first warm body she found. Now her mewling boy toy may have cost her a friendship, a king consort, and the throne. But for most of the episode, she does everything right. She makes good with her father, she ensures her inheritance, and she rocks the hell out of a bejeweled hair-do. She even finds time to try out her best David Rose impression, substituting his “I like the wine, not the label” Queer allegory for musings on her preference for roast duck. “Each of us dines as we see fit” is now the en vogue way of opening up a marriage in medieval times. A politically savvy Queen and an LGBTQ+ ally We have to stan.

Laenor Velaryon

Speaking of the Queer community, Laenor finally gets more than five minutes of screen time this episode which should’ve been a good thing. But this is George R.R. Martin we’re talking about so we can never really have good things. Laenor is older, wiser, and more battle-hardened after the war in the Step Stones. He’s also intelligent, good, and kind – qualities Daemon rightfullly suspects will bore Rhaenyra to death should they marry. Luckily, both view their union as political in nature, a kind of Friend With Benefits situation but with the “benefits” being the absolute power and House Velaryon’s rise in status – not sex. Laenor already has a boyfriend, and the two have plans to continue their relationship at court but, unfortunately, his lover is a bit loose-lipped. He may end the episode in mourning, but Laenor is now on the path to the Iron Throne, so he better toughen up quick.

Alicent Hightower

If Alicent Hightower wasn’t the resident Queen of Westeros, she’d probably be one of those nuns leading Cersei Lannister’s shame walk through Kings Landing. Has the girl been through it Clearly. Her father has been banished from court, her husband has left her behind, and her best friend is keeping secrets from her. But, even with all of that, she’s too easily swayed, too easily deceived by people – namely Otto and Larys Strong – to be respected. And her obsession with Rhaenyra’s chastity is starting to get weird. Is it fueled by bitterness regarding her own situation Is it the by-product of unrequited feelings Is it some strange form of internalized patriarchy that Alicent believes she must gatekeep these misogynistic traditions, even if they oppress and abuse her own gender Who knows But she certainly takes a stand this episode, discovering Rhaenyra’s deception, making a fuss at the wedding feast, and allying herself with a scorned king’s guard. This is one medieval Karen we wouldn’t want to go up against.

*Alexa, play Sheryl Crow’s ‘The First Cut Is The Deepest’

Sea sickness is one thing but there’s clearly more to Visery’s failing health than just a sensitive tummy and in this week’s episode, the king’s weak constitution goes downhill fast. He’s sweating, he’s coughing, he’s passing out in broad daylight … we’re starting to think that everyone in the Red Keep should take a Covid test, stat. But most concerning is his rotting limb. It’s clear his knick at the beginning of the season has festered and the infection has spread, causing entire sections of his arm to slough off. As far as metaphors go, it’s pretty gnarly.