Dogs, Discotheques, And Swordplay: A Breakdown Of The Trailer For ‘John Wick 4’

A few preliminary notes, which we will attack via bullet point because there is no time for paragraphs:

Below, please join me for a breakdown of this new trailer, which is 149 seconds long and still somehow better than a substantial portion of the full-length movies I’ve seen this year. To be fair, very few of those movies featured Keanu Reeves and Ian McShane having an outdoor rooftop meeting with Bill Skarsgard as a flock of Parisian pigeons flutters away in the background. This is a problem I have had with movies for a while now. I am glad someone finally addressed it.

Grab your black suit and katana. We are diving in.

The action opens in a church with Keanu lighting candles to honor the wife he lost early in the first movie. It’s easy to forget that’s where this all started. He was a legendary assassin who got out of the game to be with his soulmate, she got very sick and gave him a puppy to keep him company when she passed away, Theon and some goons came into his house and stomped the puppy because he was kind of rude to them at a gas station, and now we’re here, hundreds of bodies later, in this church, with Donnie Yen telling John Wick he is going to die.

I wouldn’t change a single thing. Also, I am really nice to people at gas stations now. Not that I was rude before, but still. Can’t be too careful.

Speaking of new cast members in this installment, look at freaking Bill Skarsgard. Look at him. Imagine walking into a meeting with someone and they are just clad in an immaculate creamy white suit with their legs crossed on an immaculate creamy white couch and some sort of goateed goon standing 10 feet away. I would be so excited. And terrified. But mostly excited. The only way it could be better is if he had been introduced with his back to the camera as he stared out the window into a driving rainstorm.

It does look pretty sunny there, though. Maybe the couch was his backup plan. I’m really in no place to question anything going on here as I type this in pajama pants and a fleece pullover with a coffee stain on the sleeve. I would be a terrible villain.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that Bill Skarsgard’s character is named “The Marquis de Gramont,” which is:

High degree of difficulty here. Proud of everyone involved.

Yes.

YES.

YES.

Very few action movies in the history of film have staged action sequences as well as these suckers, and I am pleased to report that this appears to still be the case. Keanu Reeves drifting through the streets of Paris firing a handgun out of a muscle car that appears to have recently had its driver’s side door ripped off. This is cinema to me.

I hope one of those other cars contains a couple from like Iowa who is in Paris for their honeymoon. I might just pretend that’s happening. A little treat for me.

What I like here is that this shot means we now have two consecutive movies where John Wick engages in a shootout/chase where he is on horseback while wearing a full suit, after the thing in the third one where he was galloping through the streets of New York.

I don’t really have anything to add here. I just like it. I hope he rides a zebra in the next one.

Three things I need to note about this shot:

Moving on.

I really respect the commitment this franchise has shown to giving most of the main characters a loyal dog who growls at and/or attacks anyone who opposes its owner. I hope Halle Berry and her dogs show up again at some point. I kind of hope one of the dogs just starts taking in one of these, if not out loud for the people in the movie to hear, then at least in an internal monologue voiceover for the audience. Let Tracy Morgan do the voice. This is not a good idea by any reasonable set of criteria but I stand by it.

This screencap alone got me so excited for this movie that a little kind of guttural squeak slipped out of my mouth before I realized what was happening. I’m glad no one else was in the room. It sounded like I got punched in the stomach but was happy about it I don’t know. I’m not proud of it but here we are.

The main things I’ve learned from these movies, in no real order:

Which has been useful. Probably. At the very least, I have yet to be murdered at a discotheque by a ballerina whose dog I killed. Which is something. You can’t argue with results.

COLORS

RAIN

HATCHETS

CLOTHELINES

WHIPPING SOME DUDE IN THE HEAD WITH SOME NUNCHUCKS

YES

These movies don’t get enough credit for being really funny in little surprise spurts. The “I get it” John gives Sofia after she freaks out because someone shot her dog. The thing where the dude who spent half the third movie trying to kill him was revealed to be a massive fanboy. And now… this. I full-on giggled. Out loud. About 40 seconds after I did that weird gruntsqueal. If anyone has my living room bugged, they are going to think I lost my entire mind earlier today.

Everything is fine.

A few more notes:

In conclusion…

… more movies should feature scenes in their trailer where the subtitle simply reads “[swords clattering]” like this. That’s how you know the movie will be good. Which this one appears to be.

We are zeroing in on the end of this franchise. That much is becoming clear. Let’s appreciate this while it’s still around. Never take Keanu for granted. Especially when he is on a horse or has a sword. Or both. It’s way too soon to rule that one out.