The Absurd Gwyneth Paltrow Trial Is Being Overrun By… Poorly Drawn Stick Figures?

Just when you thought the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial couldn’t get more absurd than the phrase “Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial,” here comes the stick figures.

A day after Paltrow’s legal team shared a hilariously crude CGI reconstruction of the Oscar-winning actress and retired optometrist Terry Sanderson colliding, an expert showed off his drawing skills to confirm that her version of the event is “consistent” with the laws of physics.

In an attempt to explain complicated physics, Dr Scher drew stick figures to show how Mr Sanderson and Paltrow would have been travelling that day and where their centres of gravity would have been. He concluded that Paltrow’s version of events is “consistent with the laws of physics” while Mr Sanderson and friend and fellow skier Craig Ramone’s version does not make sense.

He’s a regular Janey Briggs, that Dr. Scher.

— Kathryn VanArendonk (@kvanaren) March 28, 2023

This is somehow more confusing than actual physics. But what else would you expect from this trial There’s been “goofy AF” opening statements, cozy serial killer cosplay, and questions about Taylor Swift. Later today, Paltrow’s kids, Apple and Moses, are expected to testify, so that should be very normal for everyone involved. Especially this upside down blob person. Or is it a bunny

— Vulture (@vulture) March 28, 2023

This whole trial is the comedic relief episode in our dystopian 2023 season https://t.co/RoDLK0R0sq

— Ⓙ (@JoshieMoloshie) March 28, 2023

this trial is an important moment in american history https://t.co/ua7yDxWW2v

— austin (@jesuissupreme) March 28, 2023

She’s innocent. https://t.co/qDyNYDzrmu pic.twitter.com/m8XXUiVrGg

— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) March 28, 2023

man have i been doing skiing all wrong https://t.co/dSYijMvGGS

— Jeff Wetter (@alilmascara) March 28, 2023

trial of the century, this rules https://t.co/9GDORAocRd

— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) March 28, 2023

I want this photo to be the only thing I know about Gwenyth Paltrow’s ski accident trial, and I’ll form all my opinions based on solely this https://t.co/w5EWhiUMNw

— @djschwin (@djschwin) March 28, 2023