‘Seinfeld’ Almost Had These Other Funny Storylines

Seinfeld added so many things to the cultural zeitgeist over its nine seasons and 173 episodes: Festivus, urban sombreros, domain mastering, etc. But they didn’t get to finish every storyline they were working on. Some stories just didn’t quite fit anywhere, or appeared on the show in a different form, such as an abandoned character arc wherein the Soup Nazi turns out to be an actual Nazi war criminal. Entertainment Weekly spoke to David Mandel (Veep) and Jeff Schaffer (Curb Your Enthusiasm) about Seinfeld storylines that never made it onto the show.

There was almost an episode where Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) would start using medical marijuana for his cataracts. Mandel said, “the idea of Jerry Stiller on pot just seemed like comedy gold.” They abandoned the storyline when they heard a rumor another show (Cybil— remember Cybil) was already working on a similar storyline.

This one might be my favorite, where the gang goes to another country but does everything the same, as explained by Mandel:

“Had there been another season, I certainly would have tried to write this, because it was near and dear to my heart. The idea was that Jerry and the gang go on a vacation somewhere — say, Mexico — and they would check into their hotel rooms, and Jerry would end up with a hotel room right across from Kramer’s hotel room, so the hotel-room dynamic would have been the same as the apartments. The entire episode would have taken place in Mexico but everything would have been kind of the same — there would have been a Mexican diner that they sat in. I just thought the idea of taking the building blocks of Seinfeld — the apartments across the hall and the coffee shop — and transporting that to Mexico would be really fun. When Jerry decided to end the show, and I realized there weren’t going to be enough episodes, I was like, ‘Oh God, I wish there was one more season.'”

So do we.

You can read about the other lost storylines — like the one about Kramer getting a job “refurbishing skeletons” — over at Entertainment Weekly. Considering Jerry Seinfeld still has the old set in storage somewhere (and has big plans for it), would it be wrong for us to imagine he’s got it set up in his mansion and is reenacting these lost stories right now Because we’re imagining it. And he’s in a bee costume.