Twitter’s Best Jokes About The 2018 VMAs, Featuring Madonna As ‘Madonna’

The 2018 MTV Video Music Awards were held at at Radio City Music Hall in New York City on Monday night, and we’ve already covered the full winners list and the best red carpet looks. But every awards show raises the same question. Can we snark about this from the comfort of our couch The answer is always yes.

Not only were people making jokes, they were also… excited

— OSOM (@BornSinner23_) August 21, 2018

why the hell haven't millennials killed awards shows yet

— maura quint (@behindyourback) August 21, 2018

Sure, let’s go with excited. And on Twitter, folks happily took the opportunity to make jokes, like putting a screengrab of Cardi B into a new context:

— Tonja Renée Stidhum (@EmbraceTheJ) August 21, 2018

Or referencing various beefs:

— RED RIOT (@BUNNYH00D) August 19, 2018

But most of all, people laid into Madonna‘s tribute to Aretha Franklin (“featuring Madonna with Madonna as Madonna“). As was the case when Madonna eulogized Prince at the 2016 Billboard Awards, some people found her tribute lacking. The video is available at this link, and here’s the full weird transcript you can feel free to skip past and just read the jokes.

Aretha Louise Franklin changed the course of my life. I left Detroit when I was 18. Thirty-five dollars in my pocket. My dream was to make it as a professional dancer. After years of struggling and being broke, I decided to go to audition for musical theater; I heard the pay was better. I had no training or dreams ever, ever becoming a singer, but I went for it. I got cut and rejected from every audition. Not tall enough. Not blends-in enough. Not pretty enough, not enough, enough. Then, one day, a French disco sensation was looking for backup singers and dancers for a world tour. I thought, why not I could go back to getting robbed, held at gunpoint and being mistaken for a prostitute in my third-floor walkup that was a crack house. I am a rebel, hard.

So I set up for the audition. Two large French record producers sat in the empty theater, daring me to be amazing. The dance audition went well. They asked if I had sheet music and a song prepared. I panicked. I overlooked this important part of the process. I had to think fast. My next meal was on the line. Fortunately, one of my favorite albums was Lady Soul by Aretha Franklin. I blurted out. “You make me feel… you make me feel like an actual woman.” Two French guys shouted at me. “You know, by Aretha Franklin.” They looked over at the pianist. [I said] “I don’t need sheet music, I know every word. I know the song. I will sing it a cappella.” I could see they didn’t take me seriously. Why should they Some skinny-ass while girl is going to come up here and belt out a song from one of the greatest soul singers ever, a cappella I said, “Bitch, I’m Madonna.” No, I didn’t. Just kidding. I wasn’t “Madonna” yet. I don’t know who I was. I don’t know what came over me.

I walked over and started. When I was finished, I was drenched in nerve sweat. You know what that nerve sweat They said, “We will call you one day, maybe soon.” Weeks went by. No phone call. Finally, the phone rang. It was one of the producers: “We don’t think you are right for this job.” “Why are you calling me” He replied, “We think you have great potential. You are rough around the edges. We want to bring you to Paris and make you a star. We will put you in a studio, with the great Giorgio Moroder.” I had no idea who that was, but I wanted to live in Paris and I wanted to eat some food. So, that was the beginning of my journey as a singer. I left for Paris, but I came back a few months because I had not earned the life I was living. It felt wrong. They were good people. I wanted to write my own songs and be a musician, not a puppet. I needed to go home and learn guitar. That is what I did. And the rest is history.

So, you are probably all wondering why I am telling you this story. There is a reason, because none of this would have happened, could have happened, without our lady of soul. She led me to where I am today. And I know she influenced so many people in this house tonight. In this room tonight. And I want to thank you, Aretha, for empowering all of us. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Long live the queen.

— Michael Arceneaux (@youngsinick) August 21, 2018

Madonna talking about guitar lessons, Paris baguettes and her ass hanging out while she looked for a stiletto with the image of Aretha Franklin behind her is everything I expected from the #VMAs

— Kingsley (@kingsleyyy) August 21, 2018

[goes to Coachella once] pic.twitter.com/Obp5KqZU2o

— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) August 21, 2018

Madonna gave herself a tribute featuring Aretha.

— LoveYourself (@ScottieBeam) August 21, 2018

Madonna presents an Aretha Franklin tribute by Madonna featuring Madonna with Madonna and Madonna as “Madonna”

— Marc (@MarcSnetiker) August 21, 2018

"If it wasn't for Aretha, we wouldn't have Madonna"- Madonna

— Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi (@roywoodjr) August 21, 2018

does Madonna know Madonna didn’t die

— Katie Nolan (@katienolan) August 21, 2018

I’m so lost. I thought Madonna was supposed to be paying homage to Aretha but I all heard was her paying homage to herself. HEAVY on the Mayonnaise……

— Charlamagne Tha God (@cthagod) August 21, 2018

What a touching tribute to Aretha Franklin where Madonna talked about her goddam self for like 30 mins

— KFC (@KFCBarstool) August 21, 2018

She did the whole Erykah Badu cosplay for what exactly

— Aaron (@AaronSmarter) August 21, 2018

"The dress I wore on the cover of my 'Like a Virgin' album Actually a bridal gown. Not a lot of people know that." – Madonna giving a toast at your wedding

— Matt Braunger (@Braunger) August 21, 2018

I want to eulogize Madonna someday so I can talk about how I listened to Material Girl once and did a bunch of open mics. #VMAs

— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) August 21, 2018

at this point there is no possible joy to be found in answering the question “wait what did Madonna do”

— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) August 21, 2018

Twitter users also took shots at Post Malone, who performed with Aerosmith and may have taken Video Of The Year winner Camila Cabello‘s breath away (but not at the same time).

— karla (@camilalejujah) August 21, 2018

lmao jesus christ pic.twitter.com/gkgtYn5MLZ

— BAKOON (@BAKKOOONN) August 21, 2018

Best part of the VMAs Probably when Post Malone and Steven Tyler fought over a garbage bag full of “dinner rats”

— beloved comedy institution “the pixelated boat” (@pixelatedboat) August 21, 2018

And finally, people looked at performers like Noah Cyrus and her boyfriend Lil Xan and decided, “Welp, I’m old now.”

— amy brown (@arb) August 21, 2018

I watch the VMAs every year because it’s an easy way for a 35 year old man like myself to feel like I’ve already been dead for 10 years.

— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) August 21, 2018

Can’t believe the VMAs ended with everybody’s mom walking out and saying to get to bed because it’s a school night

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) August 21, 2018

(Hat tip to Yahoo!, Buzzfeed, The Hollywood Reporter, and Variety)