Whoopi Goldberg Would Like Sharks To Know That She Will Punch Them Directly In The Face

After a momentous visit with The Pope in the Vatican City, Whoopi Goldberg returned to The View this week and did what any of us would’ve done in her shoes: Declared all-out war on the apex predators of the sea.

While gushing about The Shark Is Broken, a new Broadway play about the making of Jaws, Whoopi made it clear that she will absolutely wreck a shark if one comes near her. Don’t even think about trying it, you finned bastards.

“No. I mean, listen. I know what to do because that wonderful man who came to our show said [to] punch it in the face,” Goldberg told Sunny Hostin after being asked if the play would make her scared to get in the ocean.

To drive her point home, Whoopi put up her fists and proceed to make it clear to sharks that she will destroy every last one of them. “And so, you know, don’t be scared. Think of somebody you really don’t like and beat the poo out of that shark. Pow!”

For some background, Whoopi revealed that she’s become leery of the sea after firing up an underwater experience with her VR headset.

“I put it on and I was under the ocean, because I love all the ocean stuff,” she told her co-hosts, “Something came swimming by and I forgot that I had these things on, and I got up so fast that I fell over.”

And for that you will pay, sharks.