Jerry Seinfeld Wrote A Scathing Rebuttal To ‘Some Putz’ Who Declared New York City To Be ‘Dead’

Jerry Seinfeld wants everyone to know that he noticed a certain column (published at LinkedIn) by entrepreneur, stand-up comedian, and co-owner of the Stand Up NY club James Altucher, who declared New York City to be “dead forever” amid the pandemic. Within the piece, Altucher argued that several of what he called the most important reasons to live in NYC (business opportunities, culture, food) no longer existed, and so, he’s declared that “it’s time to move out of NYC.” Well, the legendary comedian disagrees and penned a rebuttal in the form of a New York Times op-ed called “So You Think New York Is ‘Dead’ (It’s not.)”

Within the piece, Seinfeld declared that he will “never” leave or turn his back on NYC, and he argues that negativity won’t help people deal with this tough time. “The last thing we need in the thick of so many challenges is some putz on LinkedIn wailing and whimpering, ‘Everyone’s gone! I want 2019 back!'” Seinfeld wrote. “Oh, shut up. Imagine being in a real war with this guy by your side… Wipe your tears, wipe your butt and pull it together.”

Granted, Seinfeld doesn’t mention Altucher by name, but it’s clear who he’s talking about, not only by the LinkedIn detail but also when Seinfeld fires a shot at Altucher’s club. “I have been onstage at your comedy club Stand Up N.Y. quite a few times,” the Bee Movie star wrote. “It could use a little sprucing up, if you don’t mind my saying. I wouldn’t worry about it. You can do it from Miami.”

Yep, Altucher has already moved out of NYC, and Seinfeld sarcastically notes “the sharp focus and restless, resilient creative spirit” of Florida, which isn’t doing too great in this pandemic. In fact, Florida’s numbers are a lot worse than New York City right now, which Seinfeld believes will “change… mutate… re-form” but will never die. Yet he predicts that Altucher “will not bounce back. In your enervated, pastel-filled new life in Florida… I can’t think of a more fitting retribution for your fine article.”

Ouch Kind-of, but Altucher should have anticipated plenty of attention coming his way while declaring the Big Apple to be dead after it survived many previous catastrophes. And Seinfeld’s column is finding plenty of support on Twitter.

— Gabriel Sherman (@gabrielsherman) August 24, 2020

“You say New York will not bounce back this time. You will not bounce back.” I will marry this op-ed. https://t.co/KBLL5iNSuD

— Sandra E. Garcia (@S_Evangelina) August 24, 2020

via @NYTOpinion

BOOM! https://t.co/s4H7TWrgn1

— Chris Meloni (@Chris_Meloni) August 24, 2020

“Wipe your tears, wipe your butt and pull it together.”

Opinion | Jerry Seinfeld: So You Think New York Is ‘Dead’ – The New York Times https://t.co/DUZEalKSVD

— Kasie Hunt (@kasie) August 24, 2020

Jerry Seinfeld with the shade: "You will not bounce back. In your enervated, pastel-filled new life in Florida. I can’t think of a more fitting retribution for your fine article. This stupid virus will give up eventually. The same way you have." https://t.co/C3uagQHMHx

— Mathew Ingram (@mathewi) August 24, 2020

Thanks @JerrySeinfeld. Long live New York.

— JeremyNewberger (@jeremynewberger) August 24, 2020

Yet others are criticizing the piece as out of touch, given that Seinfeld’s wealth does “makes it easy to simulate the NYC of the past (or of fiction).”

— David Reaboi (@davereaboi) August 24, 2020

Jerry Seinfeld owns a three-story parking garage in the Upper West Side for his car collection. pic.twitter.com/FgdIny14Cx

— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) August 24, 2020

Jerry Seinfeld should try living in a one-bedroom apartment.

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) August 24, 2020

You can read Seinfeld’s full op-ed at the New York Times.