Seth Rogen Will ‘Never Forget’ The Wording That Tom Cruise Used To Pitch Him On Scientology 

Around the same time that Seth Rogen introduced Tom Cruise to “adult films on the internet,” Cruise tried to introduce Rogen to Scientology.

While promoting his memoir, Yearbook, Rogen appeared on The Howard Stern Show, where he discussed his encounter with the Mission: Impossible star in 2006.

“I was driving up to his house. I had to pee so bad,” Rogen told Howard Stern. “I was nervous to meet him anyway. I didn’t want to meet him and be like, ‘Hi, nice to meet you. Can I pee Can I use your bathroom’ It was going to be an awkward first interaction, so he had this really long snaking driveway leading to his house… I stopped halfway up the driveway, kind of in the woods, above Sunset Boulevard, and I peed in a Snapple bottle in my car. And then I sealed the bottle and left it there.” That should be the next Snapple Fact: “Seth Rogen peed in one of our bottles before meeting Tom Cruise.” Way more useful than knowing how many teeth a sloth has. Unfortunately, Rogen got caught:

“As I was leaving the meeting, I was snaking back down the driveway and, as I was passing the exact spot that I peed in, I noticed a red light in the woods,” he shared. “And there was a security camera literally pointed exactly at where I was peeing.”

Rogen also recalled his “bizarre” meeting with Cruise, who was in his “very weird period, where he had had his child, but no one had seen his child and there was genuine speculation as to whether the child was real… I remember meeting this baby, being like, ‘This poor baby doesn’t know she’s like the most talked about person on the planet.’ Which is a lot of pressure.” Deep into the conversation, Cruise brought up Scientology. “I’ll never forget the wording [Tom] used,” Rogen said. “‘It’s like with Scientology,’ he said, ‘If you let me just tell you what it was really about… just give me like 20 minutes to, like, really just tell you what it was about, you would say, ‘No f*cking way. No f*cking way.'”

Rogen was worried that he was too “weak-willed” to say no to TOM CRUISE (“Are we strong enough to have him do this to us and not be converted”), but luckily, Judd Apatow was there, too, and he told Cruise, “Eh, I think we’re good. Let’s just talk about movies and stuff.” Years later, he would blow up Tom Cruise in the Preacher pilot.

The moral of the story: get Judd Apatow to decline all Scientology invitations for you.