Niko, it's your cousin!
Why don't you take me bowling
I came into this country
To leave a life of trouble
But ever since since I got here, man
My blood pressure has doubled
These promises of freedom
And mammary attractions
Turned out to be a bunch of crap
And misleading distractions
My cousin is an idiot
He's always in a mess
And cleaning up his problems
Is a constant source of stress
And every time I'm on a job
He won't leave me alone
Every hour every minute, man
He rings my bloody phone
Niko, it's your cousin!
Why don't you take me bowling!
And afterwards we'll go get drunk
And go a rock-n-rolling!
Cousin, it's your cousin!
Let's get a Bleeder Burger!
And wash away the taste of all
That carnage, crime and murder
Niko, it's your cousin
Why don't you take me bowling
Niko, it's your cousin
Why don't you take me bowling
Roman what the hell!
Now is really not the time
I'm kind of in the middle of
A quite demanding crime
I'm driving like a maniac
I'm on a high speed chase
And you want me to desist
So you can stuff your fatty face?
Why don't you phone these cops
And tell them to calm down
Maybe then I'll have the time
To ferry you around
I'll phone you when it's over
If I don't hit a wall
And then I'll show you just where
You can stick your bowling ball
Niko, it's your cousin!
Why don't you take me bowling!
And afterwards we'll go get drunk
And go a rock-n-rolling!
Cousin, it's your cousin!
Let's get a Bleeder Burger!
And wash away the taste of all
That carnage, crime & murder
Niko, it's your cousin
Why don't you take me bowling
Niko, it's your cousin
Why don't you take me bowling
I've got ninety-nine problems
Ad a fat idiot cousin is definitely one of them...